Bird’s Eye View:  I’ll have half

Question: Which TV character had the catchphrase “I’ll have half”?  

Award yourself one bag of pork scratchings if you correctly answered ‘Jacko’ from the 70’s TV comedy “Love Thy Neighbour”.  They don’t make shows like that anymore.  Thank goodness.  Jacko’s response to almost every question was “I’ll have half”.  My response is usually “Mine’s a pint”.  Until recently that is.  At this year’s Norwich Beer Festival I drank mainly halves and thirds (yes, thirds!).  It’s a great way to be adventurous and try as many beers as you can.  I’m all for being adventurous.  And I’m all for trying as many beers as I can.

Michele Needleman wrote an interesting article in the October issue of What’s Brewing, which told the story behind the decision to offer souvenir glasses lined at one-third, two-thirds, and three-thirds at the Maidenhead Beer Festival.  Apparently the most popular measure was a third, followed by two-thirds.  The CAMRA survey, back in the summer of 2015, backs this up.  The survey revealed that 34% of people would rather drink their beer from a half-pint glass.  As Tim Page (Chief Exec of CAMRA) said at the time: “"People are becoming more open to trying new beers and moving away from the mentality of drinking pint-after-pint of the same brew.”

Personally, I do like my tipple in a pint glass.  Beer just doesn’t seem right in a small glass.  So, at the beer festival, my halves and thirds went straight into my souvenir pint glass.  I might be a girl, but I don’t like ‘girly’ stemmed glasses.  Or standard half-pint glasses come to that.  I need a large one.

There are times however, when I don’t want to be drinking pint after pint (Yes, really).  Times when perhaps I have a big day in front of me.  Or maybe I’m the designated driver for the night (no, that doesn’t happen very often).  Or more likely when I’m just a teeny bit hung-over.  What to drink then?  Halves don’t last long enough and I’m way past the age when I’d be satisfied with a glass of orange squash and a couple of straws.  Where are all the non-alcoholic and low-alcohol beers?  And I don’t mean Kaliber or Barbican.  Good low-alcohol beers are hard to find.  Adnam’s Sole Star at 2.8 is probably the only one I see locally.  It’s a fine beer but is that the only choice?  Surely with the number of brewers we now have locally, both real and craft, it is possible to create a half-decent drink with little or no alcohol that tastes like beer. 

In September this year the BBC reported that Professor Nutt, a British psychiatrist and neuropsychopharmacologist (try saying that after a couple of pints of Old Stoatwobbler), had developed hang-over free alcohol.  It targets specific parts of the brain to receive: “…the good effects of alcohol, without the toxicity that damages liver heart and other organs of the body.”  Currently the professor is waiting for people to come forward and share investment costs.

In the meantime, while I’m waiting for the good professor to launch his alco-synth……. mine’s a pint!

Cheers!

The Beer Bird

(First published in Norfolk Nips October 2016)